Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I have no intention to job-hop again coz I wanna stop job-hopping and stick to my "career". But I really have no choice. I feared that the lady boss and the husband may not want to confirm me. My boss ever told me before that he will try his best to confirm me and increase my salary but too bad the company does not belong to him. So, in a way, I infer that the husband and wife does not want to confirm me.
Hmm, I guess before any "termination" happens, I better start looking. However with only 4 months of HR experience, will that be enough?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Both of us know that it is a sin for a husband to have an affair with a woman behind his wife's back and it is wrong for a single woman to have a relationship with a married man.
I wanted to stop but he doesnt want to end it. He confess that he likes me so much and would like me to be his wife. He said it is sinful if we continue seeing each other and not getting married. He has kissed me before (well on the cheeks - whenever he sent me back home and I said Goodbye) and he ever held my hand before.
I told him I can't marry him. He told me that his wife sounds very sad on the phone when he told her of his intention to marry a new one. I felt guilty. I said to him I can't marry him coz as a woman, I understand how the wife felt. Furthermore I have my own reasons for not wanting to marry yet (which even if I tell him, he wont understand coz of the barrier in communication, his English is not that fluent).
Tapi he is as stubborn as an ox! He wants to marry me still coz he finds that I am a pleasant girl who is at 26 going on 27 worked so hard to support 3 family members single-handedly. (I took up 3 jobs - one full time, one part time and one is so called on a referral / assignment basis) He revealed that for 13 years he worked in Singapore, there are malay ladies in the prev companies and most of them are not wearing the scarf + pray.
But he got a shocked when I, a malay lady who never wear a scarf approached him with a question, "Does this office has a place to pray? If it doesn't then where is the nearest mosque to pray?" He immediately showed me the 'prayer' room in the office and sometimes he brought me to the nearest masjid for prayers.
Since then, he has take a liking on me. He buys me chocolates knowing I love chocolates, he helps me with the photocopying seeing I have many things to act on hand. Sometimes if I wear tight-fitting clothes, he will reprimand me and advised me that as a Muslim, I can't wear tight clothes. It has to be a loose one, according to one of the chapters in the Quran.
Then that one day, he proposed to me. Both of us read the Quran, pray and sometimes went for religious lessons / preaching and he agreed to marry me (well, he is a man after all). Coz he has read most of the chapters in the Quran (in arabic and English and his mother tongue language) so he said to me that it is okay to marry more than one according to Chapter 4: An-Nissa. He assured me that he will slow talk to his wife.
However, I am still not ready. I know him on my first day of working in current company. I need to know more about him. Going forward, I have many things to settle. Personal, housing and debts. If he wants to marry me, I am fine with that but he has to wait.
Referring to the entry below, yes, if he wants to marry me, I agreed with his suggestion. Yes, I know it is wrong coz my family do not know about it but we marry the legal way with an ustaz as witness. Futhermore, I understand on why we have to get married that way. He is earning $1600 per month and so his category is WP. If he is earning $1800 to $2500, his category is S Pass and earned more than $2500 is E Pass category. Only with S Pass and E Pass, they can apply a PR. But WP holders are not allowed to marry Singaporeans. So if WP holders want to have a PR status, he has to marry a Singaporean outside of Singapore. (after they have cancelled their WP and went back home for "good"). If WP holders were to marry a Singaporean, they will be banned from entering Singapore forever. Not sure if Govt is treating lower wage foreigners fairly, though..
After marriage, the Singaporean wife will bring the Marriage Certificate to the ICA and applied PR for the husband. Within weeks, the application approved. He said to me that once he is a PR, he will bring his family to stay here, "re-propose" me by doing the proper way : - meet with parents telling them of his intention to marry me (again - this time with a proper wedding invitation + wedding ceremony) but he does not want to tell my family that he is married feared that my parents (grandma especially) disapproves of me of marrying him.
If that happens, we have to divorce la and I will be a young divorcee instead of a bachelorette (in the eyes of my family). But if it is vice-versa, Alhamdullilah but what about the first wife? Gee, I really dun know. Totally not ready to be involved in adult, maturity & complicated matters. Sighz
Ya Allah, please guide me through.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
I do not know if he is serious in wanting to marry me.
Maybe he has an intention. He may want to be a PR here, bring his family and in order to do that, he has to marry a Singaporean BUT he can't now as he is a WP holder, not an S-Pass or E-Pass.
The only way to marry a Singaporean is to bring her to the country and marry! Then a week later, the wife (Singaporean) will apply the PR for the husband and automatic, the husband has a PR status.
But I do not want that kind of marriage... That is wrong! OMG! Please guide me through...