Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Continuation from 17 May 2007. Please scroll down to read that first if you want before reading this. Thank you. Before I start with da reasons.. I have to first let u knw tat it will be easier for me to explain in English.. So I hope u dun mind if most of da wordings in this email are in English.. As I have stated in da sms this morning.. whoever is da guy who wants to marry me MUST accept my grandparents. (Edit: Now is only grandmother because my grandfather has passed away exactly 7 months ago.) If they can't.. I will reject them. I understand that will only happens when both my grandparents are still alive. If they have passed away, dun ever think that I can accept guys easily.. NO.. Yeah I understand.. "Who doesnt want to get married?" But I have my other reasons.. 1) U shld know that I am now studying for my degree part time. I dun care lah if da guys who approached me are O level graduates, A level graduates, ITE or Diploma. I am not looking down on pple. I dun like but I do not want pple to look down on me for having bf/fiance/husband who are lower educated than da wife. It is easy to say, "Go and look for a guy who has da same qualification as u or at least one level lower (diploma) than u." It is easy for pple to say that but not easy for me to find that particular guy.. Also it will be an opportunity for guys not to work coz wife has higher qualification and earned more than them. Instead of husband giving wife $$, is da other way round.. I dont want that to happen.. I know.. not all guys are like that. I dun care if da guy lower educated than me as long as he will not be making use of me for free lodging! 2) Honestly I tell u.. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK. If u can still remember during Home Econs practical lessons.. I didnt do a proper cooking. Jgn ckp masak..jahit pun tak tau!! Remember Sec 2.. I brought home my sewing and let my grandma do it for me? Hahaha.. Anyway, back to reason number 2. Every guy / husband will want his girl / wife to cook for him. If I do not know how to cook, it is da same as I am humiliating them. Their family members will say malicious words to them abt me for not treating da husband well and so forth.. If husband or even me cannot endure any longer..will lead to divorce.. Dah janda aku!! Salam Ramadhan.. Maria @ Amy Maria aka Amyria Email dated 25 October 2006 Hello there again... (FYI, while typing tis, I kept controlling my tears..) I have to elaborate more on why I insisted on saying andartu..andartu.. U knw, tak semestinya perkahwinan boleh membawa kebahagiaan.. Tidak kahwin pun boleh bahagia.. I have witnessed it myself. My mum married twice and BOTH husbands didnt provide her with happiness! YES! Dun think my step dad ever provide her with happiness. Since 5 years ago, I witnessed it all. He didnt appreciate wat my mum did for him. And tis leads me to have da perception tat all guys out there are not appreciative, selfish and think abt themselves. I feared that one day I may find that kind of guy. I dun wish to experience wat my mum experience. U wanna knw something.. U muz b wondering y my grandparents sold their unit at Blk 427 Clementi Ave 3 and stayed with my mum and my step dad's house, which is at Clementi West Street 2? Semua gara-gara my step dad!! He instigated my mum to pujuk my grandparents to sell da unit and moved in with them. My grandparents tat time didnt think much of da consequences.. So they give in. // u muz be wondering how I knw. Well, when my step dad's not around, I overheard da confession my mum made to my grandma.. Tats how I knw!!! // Of coz, aft selling da unit..my grandparents were given a lump sum of money. They sold da unit for $190,000. Yup.. Wanna knw wat happen to da money? Of coz my granddad really wanna distribute it to his children and their spouses. My aunt and husband got $20K each (they kept da money till now. They will use it for emergency use), my uncle and wife also got da same amt (they use da money to tunaikan umrah..) For my mum and her husband.. is a diff case. My mum pleaded my granddad to give them 10K more. So both my mum and my stepdad got $30K each. Wat did they do with da money? Buy car!! Yes. My mum did tell my step dad to juz rent or buy a smaller car coz we are not fcuking rich to afford to have bigger and expensive car but my step dad took advantage of da money my granddad gave to him for him to tunaikan haji or watever.. He use tat money plus another $30K frm my mum to pay downpayment of da car and da downpayment of $60K STILL wasnt enuff!!! He requested my mum to ask for another $6,000!!! frm my granddad.. So total downpayment needed for one luxurious car is $66,000!! And WHERE DOES TAT MONEY COMES FROM? NOT FROM titik peluh my step dad BUT FRM MY GRANDPARENTS!! Da money got frm selling da house shld be for my grandparents to use for future or emergency use NOT for enjoyment of others!! AND U KNW WAT? HE DIDNT EVEN UTTER A SINGLE THANK YOU TO MY MUM WHO SUSAH PAYAH PUJUK MY GRANDDAD FOR DA MONEY OR A THANK YOU TO MY GRANDDAD WHO ADD ANOTHER $6K FOR HIS STUPID CAR DOWNPAYMENT!! NO.. NOT AT ALL. NOT EVEN AFTER 5 YEARS!!!! Eventhough my grandparents moved in to HIS house, he NEVA talks to them. NO, NOT AT ALL.. HE juz do his own stuffs.. He treats them like some kind of refugees seeking refuge in his house!!! DIDNT HE REALIZE IF IT WASNT FOR MY GRANDDAD'S MONEY, HE WONT BE USING TAT CAR OF HIS!!! Remember I did sms u before abt my mum and my step dad gaduh and trying ro get a divorce? Tats is drama semata-mata. He is doing tat so tat BOTH MY GRANDPARENTS WILL LEAVE HIS HOUSE. But they still staying in his house but NOT for long. My uncle has seeked HDB's approval for rented house for them and I AM GONNA STAY WITH THEM COZ THEY TOOK CARE OF ME SINCE I WAS ONLY 14 DAYS OLD.. I have enuff.. I always prayed tat my grandparents got a rented flat soon so I can move in with them. Tats y one of da reasons y I dun wish to marry is becoz of tis.. My mum's husband tried many ways to kick my grandparents out of da house coz he only wants his own family to be staying with him. Who knws if I were to get to meet sumone same as him as in dun even let my mum or my grandparents (if they still alive) to move in with him? Tats y I said in da previous email, I will only accept a guy who is willing to care and give shelter to my aged grandparents.. Kalau tak.. I wont marry.. Last but not least, my mum has been diagnosed with brittle bones since late Feb 2006. Tis brittle bones is a dangerous sickness.. If my mum found out abt da illness late by only a few days, she has to be in da wheelchair!!! ITUPUN MY STEP DAD STILL THINKS ABT HIMSELF!! Tis brittle bones sickness doesnt require da patient to work. Has to stay at home. I have requested my mum to quit. But my STEP DAD (HIM AGAIN!!) ORDERED MY MUM TO LISTEN TO HIM AND NOT TO ME. HE WANTS MY MUM TO CONTINUE WORKING TILL DA AGE OF 60 (My mum's company retirement age) Wat?!!! He expects my mum with tat kind of sickness to work for another 7 or 8 years?!!! TATS Y I SAID HE DIDNT PROVIDE MY MUM WITH HAPPINESS!!! IF MY MUM IS NOT HAPPY!! I AM NOT HAPPY AS WELL!!! Tats all.. Kalau email ini mcm terkasar sikit, I'm sorry coz aku geram and marah abt how men treat women.. Y men took women for granted. Itu pasal aku takut nak kahwin.. Biarlah jadi bachelorette.. lagi senang.. tak runsingkan fikiran.. Salam Lebaran Maria @ Amy Maria aka Amyria Note: My late grandfather passed away on 19 November 2006. Today is 19 June 2007 >> 7 months after his pemergian. Thats why I chose today to blog da above. Readers, u may think that I lead a great life. U are wrong. Deep down, I am . Sumtimes I always think why I was in this kind of complicated family. That explained why I tend to be quiet and not chatty enuff. Sumtimes, I like to sms friends coz I always felt kinda bored. Bored in da sense that I want to get rid of all da problems that I have been thinking out of my head. It hurts me more when da pple I sms didnt reply. But I dun blame them coz they do NOT KNOW my problem.. Oh, before I end this, my grandmother and I are still staying at my stepdad's flat. My grandparents had actually gotten their rented flat and was supposed to move in to their rented flat on 20 November 2006 (that was why I applied for 2 days leave on those days) but please continue reading what happened (for first timers) by clicking HERE. Thanks. GOOD NEWS: Alhamdulilah.. My prayers and most importantly, my grandma's has been answered by GOD. YO from HR/Accounts Dept (she is also in charge of Accounts, thats why I wrote HR/Accounts) called me at about 5pm today at work at my extension. She conveyed a pleasing news:- Da partners (all da lawyers? - think so) have agreed to give me an increment with effect from 1 June 2007! So instead of getting $1, 600 with 20% CPF deduction=$1277 on 26 June 2007, I'll be getting $1650 with 20% CPF deduction = $1317? *Is that rite?* Alhamdulilah. Syukur. // I know increment of $50 to some of u is NOTHING. But to me, IT IS SOMETHING. Yeah, I know I sound pathetic. Who cares. Increment of $50 or $500 is SOMETHING to me. That is what I want. To make my grandma happy. To let my grandma sort of 'show off' to my step dad that a drug addict daughter able and capable of getting that kind of pay! Now u get what I meant by making my grandma happy?
I was retrieving my old emails I sent to countless people, be it forwarded stuffs, sch stuffs or personal emails. I would like to share one particular email which I sent on 12 October 2006 & 25 October 2006 to one of my 3 best friends, Faridah.
Email dated 12 October 2006.
Dear Faridah..
// Even if my dad isnt/wasnt a drug addict/drinker, my mum will still ask for a divorce coz my dad malas bekerja and always ask for money from my mum. //
4) I sumhow still have no faith in guys.. Sebelum kahwin, they said all sorts of sweet things to u.. bila dah kahwin, dia dah jadi ketua rumah.. Isteri kena ikut ckp dia.. Itu mmg betul but if isteri tak nak ikut ckp dia, kalau dpt husband yg penyabar, neva mind but what if dpt husband yg suka pukul bantai isteri.. I still remembered a news frm Berita Harian last year. In Dover, a malay couple.. Husband beat da wife and da wife died.. Sungguh menyerikan .. Itu yg aku takut.. Also.. ada lelaki nak kan perempuan utk kikis duit perempuan.. I dont want that kind of guys..
Those are my reasons.. That was y I said, "complicated" all my 4 reasons are deprived frm a complicated case. So to avoid more complications, lebih baik aku andartu sudah! Kita merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan.. Kalau Allah sudah tentukan yg aku tiada jodoh.. aku terima dgn rela.. Amin..
