Monday, November 20, 2006
I shld be at hm yestday. I shld.. I shld.. I shld.. Mandarin lesson can postpone next week.. But fate cant be postponed...
My grandfather has passed away yestday aftnoon. I wasnt there when he held his last breath. I received this shocking news da moment I finished my Mandarin class. I had my lunch aft that. Aft my lunch, I went to sch to do some revision for my degree subject. I wanted to spent revision time for 1 hour but I only spent 10 mins revising!! Da minute I received da call, I cried for another 5 mins in da study room and I rushed out of da sch and I quickly walked as fast as I cld. I want to go home!!!
While in da bus, tears still flow down my cheeks. I sms to all my close contacts, Faridah, Rosliah, Bob, Nazrul, Suresh, Ainn, Seri, RizaR & Hasniza (err, not that close but we have each others' contacts), BB (my colleague), Dira, Ayu, Muneerah, Alice, Hidayah, Hanim, 2 or 3 HapyHadys and 1 or 2 WESSC volunteers.
I cldnt believe sumone dear to me had gone. From GOD we arrive to this world, to GOD we returned. I knw but there was sadness in me due to some reasons..
I WASNT THERE WHEN HE MENTIONED MY NAME!! HE MENTIONED ALL OUR NAMES (those immediate family). I WASNT THERE. I felt guilty!!! I SHLDNT HAVE GO FOR MANDARIN CLASS!!!
Now, all is too late. Before I cld see him for da last time, he had passed away. I cried and cried. He didnt get to see me for da last time so was I.. I shldnt have gone for class. My grandma said to me that he called our my name several times and she kept answering da same thing, "She has gone for class, will be back in aftnoon." But wats done cant be undone...
Coincidently, I am ON LEAVE today and tmr. . . Donaldson does not have compassionate leave if grandparent passed away! I find it unfair!!
To Faridah, thanks for coming. Maybe Rosliah is coming tonite. To da rest of da names, I'd mentioned above, thanks for ur condolences msgs.. Sure, I'll be strong. Dun worry so much, I will be OK. To Bob, thanks for calling that day. I appreciate it. *smile*
19 NOVEMBER 2006, 12.45pm, Haji Ahmad Markob bin Ahmad menghembus nafasnya yg terakhir.
Atuk, I love u and I'm sorry for all da things I'd done. Atuk, may u rest in peace. I will always pray and recite Al-Fateha doa to u. Amin
Deep in my heart, there are still sadness. Before I cld repay him for what he had done for me, he had left this world (Remember, I did blog b4 abt my late grandfather aft selling his flat, he gave me $10, 000 to me for degree course payment). I have promised that aft I have completed my studies, I will be fully concentrating on my work and I will give him lots of $$ montly. But now, its all TOO LATE.
