Thursday, May 17, 2007
Related entries: 27 April 2007 and Why I Insist on pursuing fo degree
Another abstract of email to Alice
Hello there,
I have decided not to marry. But tats juz my decision for now coz like da malays saying, "Ini semua Takdir Tuhan. Kalau Tuhan jodohkan..apa nak buat. Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan yg menentukan." Meaning, its all in GOD's hand. IF GOD fates me to marry, so be it.. IF GOD fates me not to marry.. all da better!
Da reason y I am saying so.. Well, at first I have only 2 reasons but aft reading several news articles.. da reasons have increased. My first 2 reasons:
1) I do not knw how to cook. According to da Malays, if women didnt knw how to cook..its like.. very weird coz women are born to cook. Sighz.. But why malay women are born to cook? My chinese neighbour, every day eat out with family.. when I asked her, she replied, "I do not knw how to cook." Why is it NOT compulsory for Chinese to knw cooking BUT IT IS for us, MALAYS?! I find it rather amusing and confusing! There's another saying, 'Every husband will love and care for da wife more if da wife cooks for them.' This is totally unfair! Why must we women do all da work? Da pain of giving birth to children >> women, washing clothes >> women, after giving birth have to take care of children >> women, iron clothes >> women, buy things for cooking >> women, and cooking also, WOMEN?!!!
If u would like to know, I still do not know how to cook. I only know how to fry an egg. Thats all I know. If pple out there wanna make fun of me.. BE IT! I lead MY OWN LIFE..not theirs.. Thats da reason why i dun wish to get married.. I rather be a bachelorette than to have pple laughed at me for not knpwing how to cook for my husband.. and it will be more humiliating if my husband were to divorce me juz becoz i cant cook! SO, better stay as a bachelorrette. I dun care if pple out there say, I am ' tak laku' or whatever.. its their mouths.. one day, they will eventually SHUT UP.
2) Do u remember abt me having a step father right? My mum and dad were divorced when I was not even 4 years old yet. One good reason for da divorce, my dad was an alcoholic and drug addict. Guys wouldnt want to marry me if they were to find out my dad is an alcholic/drug addict. Of course lah...like wat my grandma say, "Mereka malu ah ada bapa mertua mcm tu." Besides when a malay woman wants to marry, her dad must be da 'wali' (witness). So I cannot tell or say tat my dad has died & have to get a 'Wali Hakim', coz only if ur dad had died, we can get 'Wali Hakim' as da witness. But what if my dad is still alive n kicking? And what if he's in jail for da drug offences? Dun u find tat humiliating to ur in-laws?
3) Aft reading da following news article.. I have decided 100% tat i dun want to marry. I knw, I may get tempted with a handsome dude out there or like trying to fall for a handsome guy but still, I do not wish to marry.
Article (1): SG's NEW PAPER, Dec 6 2005 - a husband was charged with murder for beating his wife.. Da husband is an alcoholic.. (Thank goodness, my mum divorced my dad!) A malay couple. Da couple had been married for 8 years and have no children. Da husband, an alcoholic and whenever da wife ticked him off, he would want to hit her but his bro was there so, his intention to hit his wife backfired but on that fateful day (Dec 2), his bro went out to buy food and da husband came home drunk at around 1 or 2 am. Da wife as usual ticked him off and u wanna knw what happen? He hit her! Yah.. I knw NO BIG DEAL but he didnt hit her with his bare hands! He hit her with and iron, iron board, clock and fan!! Of course da wife died!! When da bro came back home, he saw his sis-in-law lying motionlessly in da living room with da above mentioned things all over da plc and da gruesome part is, her teeth was dropped out! And da husband juz stare at da dead wife.. He's in jail rite now awaiting trial..
Article (2): SG's NEW PAPER, Dec 10 2005 - an indian couple; they are not married but live together for 11 years (I think) and even bore him 2 children. Guess wat? For 7.5 years, he abused her. He slapped, hit, kicked punched n slashed every part of her body including her private parts! Eww.. how sadistic can he be? They r not even married n yet, he dared to abuse her! He's in jail of course serving his sentence of a few years.. n da poor woman still lives in fear. She moved out of tat house, change da padlock n live in a rented one-room flat alone as her kids are in welfare home. Sumtimes when she's alone at her one-room flat, whenever she hears a knock on da door, she got frightened n dared not open da door. She didnt contact her parents as she has been estranged frm them as they had disapprove her relationship with him.. Wanna knw how he got caught? Well, i think it was when neighbour saw her naked outside da flat wif blood dripping frm her face, they called da police.
Article (3): SG's NEW PAPER, Dec 10 2005 - a Chinese couple who had been married for 26 years BUT for 21 years, she had endured all da beatings, slappings, choking and pinching by her husband for da sake of her children, now aged 17 to 26. They are divorce right now after she filed for PPO.. she regretted her hasty decision of getting married.
C... tats exactly Y i dun wish to marry.. I am scared it will happen to me too.. I knw who i am.. I am a 'lembik n lembut' person.. easily to be bullied yet alone abused... So, better dun marry!
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This entry is to be continued. I have some other reasons why I am hesitant to marry. In da mere future, I will share another email somehow related to da above. This email was sent by me to Faridah.
