Friday, December 12, 2008
My best friend suspects and my granny anyhow assumes the family so it leads me to no choice...
SMS from A's sister : Happy Birthday, babe... Would like to know.. Are u going out with my bro?
Here's the confession via email..as it is too long to sms and long distance calls from SG to Poland are not cheap at all!
Dear babe,
Before I continue, I think its time for me to make a confession with u instead of waiting for him to inform u.. I know I shld respect his decision. He decides to inform u only when our relationship stabilizes but I cant take this anymore because of my beloved granny who just love to make wild accusations!
Ok.. To answer ur sms the other day.. Yes... I am going out with your brother. But I didnt make the 1st move. He did. U must be wondering how he can get hold of my number. Well, its from the caller ID telephone from ur dad's home. He got my number from there. So we hitted it off by text messaging and meets up and he keeps insisting not wanting me to inform u.. He wants me to respect his decision. OK, I wont. But he has informed his family members (minus ur dad - because he knows ur dad knows me and I dun know if he is afraid ur dad will make noise or something) that he is serious with me. Because of what he said, ur mum wants to meet me. Ur bro told me not to reveal to ur mum and ur mum siblings (ur aunts and uncles) that I am ur friend. I am kinda sad coz I am "bluffing" to ur mum & aunties and uncles in a way.. But I have no choice.. We already have so much friction between us, I dun wish to make it more worse so I didnt reveal to ur mum that we're best friends.
So since I've met ur family, I should let him meet my family as well BUT my granny didnt even want to meet him.
And... I dun know if I should continue coz it will be very hurting for u coz he's ur bro and I know how it feels when someone insults or anyhow accuse ur family members of this and that. But.. I really need to talk and discuss this with someone.. maybe someone can talk some sense to my granny..
Do u know what she has been saying all these while? From the day I let her know that a younger guy wanted to befriend me.. She calls him, "cheeky..", "age still so young already cheeky..", "trying to take $$ from me.." and etc etc.. I also did inform my family that I know him through u (I didnt disclose the caller ID thing - dun have to be more specific.. My family is not as understanding as others). So they got the wrong idea that u introduced ur bro to me.. Whereas, to be honest, u didnt even know!
So because they misunderstood, my granny has been wildly accusing and saying abusive words abt u.. and I really cant stand it anymore! U are not to blame! Thats why I have no choice but to disrespect ur bro's decision and had to inform u.. If I didnt... my granny will continue saying those untrue things abt u and ur family.. YES.. ur family... and that is a sin.. I have to stop her from committing more sins... i dun know how to start off with. Maybe I'll just say whatever she says in malay as currently my mind is not at the state of mind to translate those malay abusive words to English.
She said of u, "Kawan kau pandai.. dia lari gi berzina kat luar negeri and cari kan perempuan untuk adik dia suruh perempuan tu jagakan bapa dia yg buta, etc.. etc..." I know I should defend u.. U went to work in Poland not to 'berzina' but I cant defend u.. I know how my granny is.. She will slap me if I defend anyone else other than family members. Whenever I tried to defend anyone coz I am an adult I am big enuff to know what is right and wrong and I dun wish to be treated like a kid so I have defend other pple too and she slapped me before.
She said this, "Kalau kita susah.. kawan tak akan tolong kita.. keluarga jugak akan tolong.." Yes, I understand but what my granny said of u is SIMPLY UNTRUE.. ITS WAY TOO MUCH!! I wanted to defend u but I decide not too.. I dun wish to start the friction between me and my granny next.. There was once when I defend that u got an offer to go work in Poland and still she said, "boleh tolak tawaran tu..asal dia nak kerja kat sana jugak? dia dah malas jaga bapa dia tu.. dia lari ah..lepas tu carikan perempuan untuk jaga kan bapa dia yg buta.." *slaps forehead*
She said of ur bro.. "Adik dia baru umur 22 tahun.. dah gatal.. nak cari perempuan.. kalau nak gatal pun gi cari yg sebaya atau yg lebih muda dari dia.. kau dan dia kau pangkat kakak tau.. da lah dia muda.. belajar bodoh..kerja belum tentu boleh dpt gaji lebih dari $1200." Thats why I dun like to go to ITE.. Aft my O levels, I went to private no matter what.. I wanted to go to ITE as my mum is still OK with ITE level My granny and most of my family members has the perception that ITE are meant for "stupid" pple.. so I withdraw myself from applying to ITE.. FYI, I NEVER Look down on pple regardless of their race, educational status, whether u know how to cook or not.. Cooking can learn slowly... Education can be nurtured.. she has no right to call ur bro bodoh! I understand he has NTC.. everyone knows that pple who failed PSLE or secondary 1 or secondary 2 will go to a vocational institute and the qualification is NTC.. and I am a degree holder..
So what if ur bro is NTC? He did promise ur parents and ur dad and myself that he wish to continue with his studies up to Diploma level but how to if he doesnt have a stable job? He didnt want to use ur dad's $$.. Thats a gd sign.. I did inform abt ur bro wanting to continue with his studies to please my granny.. however my granny is as stubborn as an ox.. She said, "Dia da bodoh boleh ker dia belajar?" I really cant take it anymore.. I have enuff... She has gone too far.. Who is she to scold bodoh at ur bro?
Last but not least.. she didnt know that I have met ur mum and ur step dad along with ur step brothers... If she knows, she will definitely NOT TALKING TO me.. I know my granny thats why I didnt tell her . I just informed her that my company has this event and that event.. Ur mum finds me ok and she tells to ur bro that I am a good... she does not mind the age being older than ur bro as long as I am a good lady.. Ur bro will inform her once we are in stablize relationship that I am ur friend..
When I reveal to my granny that ur bro told ur mum abt me and ur mum kinda ok...do u know what my granny said of ur mum?! She said, "mak mestilah suka kat kau jadi kau boleh tolong layan si buta tu..kau jgn jadi bodoh terpengaruh.." Why must she said that of ur family?!! I know ur dad is blind and all along he can be independent and fend for himself so why must my granny mention him? What has he got to do with me going out with ur bro? I just say that ur mum likes me and OK with me.. if I were to mention that I went to ur mum's house her wild accusation will be driven further. I dun how how is she going to say it...
I'm sorry. I know u're having problems over there in Poland and now I am giving u more problems.. I have no choice I have to inform u... When the time is right, he will inform u. I will inform u too when the time is right but I cant take it anymore.. my granny has gone too far in all those silly and wild accusations of hers so I have to inform u.. and if u are hurt by those remarks my granny make, I'll apologize on her behalf.
Before I go, are u ok with us dating? And I am wondering what did I do or how did u suspect that I am going out with ur bro? To add on, ur bro has NEVER ask $$ from me.. unlike some other guys I know.. who are better educated and older than me and yet they dared to ask 2 things from me: sex & money!! Ur bro NEVER ask any of these.. but why i my granny assume he is bad?
Anyway, Take care of urself in Warsaw okie? =)
Rgds,
Maria
Her reply:
Hey babe,
I've never mind about your relationship with my bro. You're a good person, and definitely my family will like you. Esp my dad, he likes you alot. That's because I always talk about your good qualities to him. I said that you are a good friend coz you're always there when I need help and there will be a day when I know you'll need my help too. So don't worry. I will always be there if you needed me one day, when I'm in a much stable condition.
I don't care much about what your granny said about us. She's an old lady, she'll see it for herself. Although I know it's unfair for her to talk shit about my dad, let her be. We can't change her character.
Like I said, I've no objection about your relationship. I found out that you guys are together after seeing my bro on facebook. That's why I asked you about it. No doubt that my bro is the best bro ever for me. He hardly says no to his family. He takes care of my dad during my absence. I admire him so much because of that.
I don't want you to think that he is a bad boy, but take it slow. Do not rush things. Slowly but properly.
You know best. Neither do I nor my family inc my dad have objections with you dating my bro. Give my bro sometime to build up for himself if you care about him. Keep giving him motivation to get back to school, or take some courses at least. Maybe you know how to motivate and shape his future :)
About your granny, you know how to deal with her. But let me tell you this. If you faced with problems one day, I'll be there to help you.
Take care :)
Ain
