Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The email:
Hello babe...
What're u doing now? Kinda busy?
Hey, can u ever tell the difference whether the guy is lying to u or serious abt u? I have been in discreet talking to him on phone (in the toilet! mind u!). Yeah I know its normal but still there is a sense of guilt in me for doing that.
From his conversations and smses, he seems to be serious in developing a relationship with me. Yes, we are friends but he has marked down a date on the calendar for us to be together. I told him I need ample time.. If I were to say he's desperate, he doesnt seem like one. If I were to say, he's sincere and serious then why the rush? He told me that he will care and be faithful to me once we're in relationship.
I know I cant trust a man's words easily but from the way he said it and thru his expression, he is serious. He has begin to perform his prayers. Yeah, he didnt perform his prayers due to work tight schedules but for my sake, he has repented and he has started to perform his prayers. Alhamdulilah. I forgot to inform him that he should be doing it for the sake of Allah and not me.
Anyway, if it is fated that I'll be with him, I feared my family has objections coz of 2 things:
1)he is younger than me and
2)he is lower educated than me.
I did told the guy this and he does not seem to give up. He gives me that hope that he will assure me that though he is lower educated, he can make me happy. I really dun know. He kept saying that he will go look for a better job with higher pay as he is earning very little salary from his current job now and he needs to save up $$. I have no idea for what purpose but in my opinion its good for him to save $$ - in case there is some need of URGENCY, we have some cash for our own. But he only mentioned to me to wait for him once he has saved up much $$. Hmm, to meminang me issit? Haha.
Before I continue, he said to me that if we happen to be in a relationship, he do not want me to informboth sides of familycoz its too early to tell. I asked him if I can let his sister know. He said NO coz his sister ,who is my good friend is his family member. I felt so guilty..
Further, I did suggest to him that if he is serious and sincere, one day he has to come my home and meet with my grandmother. Only she can have the final say (as in, if he wants to bring me out in future - i.e if I have run out of ideas to "lie" to my family into going out with him - he has to ask my grandmother's permission so that my grandmother know who is dating her precious granddaughter out.. heehe..)
He is determine to do so but not the time yet I guess. Maybe he wants to secure that better job first? *shrugs* I'm so envious of other ladies of our age. They started dating with men, they bring them home and their parents are OK. But why not me? :( Maybe my grandmother is scared I may ended up with someone like my dad (a drug addict - thats why my mum seek for a divorced) and my step dad (who has NEVER EVER TALK TO my grandmother AT ALL!) who is sort of sombong la..
He even "admit" that he is not a playboy. Is that just a trick for me to believe him or he is indeed telling me the truth? FYI, though he is younger than me, he is very mature. More mature than me... *winks*
Anyway, if u were in my shoes, how do u analyze this problem? :)
Have a great weekend!
Reply:
That's simple. You don't have to trust him. Just be who you are. Guys will tell a thousand stories just to lure girls. You are not wrong if you choose not to believe him. I wouldn't if I were you. If he's really serious in going out with you, he will not keep this relationship a discreet. And like you said, he is so "into" trying to assure you that everything will be fine between your family and his, then he should not find it a problem to meet up with your grandmum.
Let me tell you this.. He doesn't want anyone to know about what's going on between you guys till the marked up date on the calendar, hmmm.... That sounds fishy to me. He must have something up his sleeves. Just be very careful. Try testing him. Ask him to meet with your grandmum now, I really mean now, if he wants to go into relationship with you. If he says no again, forget this guy. He's not sincere. He's giving you heaps excuses in order to achieve something out of it.
Don't believe guys easily when they say that they have repented. This is not that hard babe. But I do understand you since this is your first experience, maybe. So be very careful. And like you said, if it is fated that you are meant for each other, Allah will show you the way. Just ask Allah for the best solution. He will show you the answer.
If you bound to lose this guy in a worst senario, do not grieve for it. Something good will come along your way. There's always someone good for us out there. We just have to ask god for it.
Last but not least, do not ever ever compare yourself with other people. Everything happens for a reason.I hope I've given you the answer you're looking for.
Take care darl,
Ainu
The chat:
A's sister: yo
Amyria: hello...wats up?
A's sister: watcha doing?
Amyria: chatting with u and talking to him on phone
A's sister: cool :) how is it going
Amyria: so far so good....
A's sister: great
Amyria: U know.. I felt bad doing this behind my friend's back (but he still insist not to inform her yet) Will inform her if he's "ready". I hv no idea what he meant by "ready"
A's sister: do what you think is best for you
Amyria: Alrite... but if let say my friend got to know this not from me but from someone else.. do u think she'll get angry with me?
A's sister: dont know babe
Amyria: hmm.. try put urself in her shoes... :)
A's sister: you know i'm different. i may not react like other people
Amyria: heehee.. Yeah.. U're the simply dun care type.. rite?
A's sister: seriously, i dont know, even if, i dont care much
Amyria: Thats why u're my best friend.. :)
Amyria: A question.. Are all men horny?
A's sister: everyone's horny in general... haha what a question?
Amyria: including u and me ? heehe...
A's sister: did he say something erotic?
Amyria: just a question coz I'm "growing up"
A's sister: you're not only growing but an adult
Amyria: No la.. Just a question of, "If we are already in a relationship, can I hold ur hands and kiss ur cheeks?" Not lewd to me, dont u think? But I think that question is kinda kiddish? *shock face*
A's sister: Its up to you. just be smart. You know your needs most, its entirely up to you. I can only say that we are living in the real world, not fantasy land
Amyria: Ok
A's sister: okay babe, gotta ciao now
SELAMAT HARI RAYA to my avid readers of this blog! MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN
