Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Have u ever reject someone? Well, I did. If you have been constantly been reading my blog, u shld know that I rejected a chinese colleague of mine. However, I did not relate to you about another guy who I rejected before meeting B, my chinese colleague. Let's call him R. 7) He smokes
I met R thru this social networking site. Nope, not Friendster.com but Myspace.com. Well, its OK for him to add me and send me a message. I am OK with that. Thats what those sites are for. However, there is a limit to that. I will not entertain questions such as, "Are you single?", "Do u have a boyfriend?" etc. I will strictly remove that particular person from my list and block him from accessing my profile.
I met R, who is 7 years older than me, via Myspace.com in the year 2004. We exchanged messages. Soon, exchanged numbers. Then, chat on the phone. Finally, meet up. Well, he was OK.. Quite plumb, dark skin. Met him twice. After that we didnt have the chance to meet, only sms and phone calls but not always.. very seldomly.
I obviously have no feelings for him. I wont have feelings on guys I met online. I treat them as friends. From the way, we chat on phone and exchanging smses, I can sense that he sumhow has "feelings" for me. Until last year, when he dropped the bombshell....He wish to have me as his girlfriend!
So what was my answer? DUHZ.. I am STILL SINGLE..so, that means, I rejected him! I have to be carefully with what I say as I fear it might hurt his feelings. I told him nicely that I was not ready for any relationship yet. He understood. He didnt ask for any reasons.
I have my reasons why I rejected him, which he does not know.
1) Guys whom I met online, I have to be very careful with. They may be bad.. They may be good.
2) He is holding 2 jobs to support the family. 2 jobs?! That clearly meant that both jobs are of lowly paid..
3) He is only N level holder. (He did mention that he studied in ITE before but I forgot whether he failed his exams or he dropped out)
4) He loves to eat and he did mention to me before that he wants a wife who can cook for him everyday.. EVERYDAY?!! HABIS LAH aku! Let me repeat: I DUN KNOW HOW TO COOK and the word, COOKING FREAKS ME OUT!!
5) From the way he behaves and from his gestures, I can sense that he wants pple to listen to him. There was an occasion where I merely gave suggestions and he sumhow raised his voice at me and said, "I DUN NEED YOU TO TELL ME, I KNOW." Woah..SO ARROGANT! Ini mcm nak jadi my husband?! NO WAY..
6) He has a license but not a car license.. A motorcycle license. I met him twice but the mode of transportation: public. He did not take me for a ride in his motorcycle because coincidently during those two occasions when he met me, his motorcycle was sent for repair and he has to take a public transport.
When I informed him that I was not ready for any relationship, he was kinda disheartened. He then asked me if I have any friends to intro him. Huh?! I do not dare to intro any girls to him! However, I did inform only one of my friends and she happens to be my best friend, Faridah. I told her everything from A to Z; how I met him and why I intro him to her.
Yes, they sort of hit it off pretty well via sms. They only met once and Faridah told me an incident and I shall not relate it here. Still, they are keeping in touch thru sms. Faridah told me that he wants to meet her again but Faridah fely kinda fidgety to meet him again. Also, Faridah did mention this: "Asal sms ajer.. dia asyik banding aku dgn kau.. Dia asyik berbual pasal kau. Dia selalu puji kau. Dan dia sanggup tunggu kau sehingga kau dpt ijazah. Aku tak marah. Dia kenal kau dulu.." Whenever R wish to meet Faridah, she will find excuses not to meet him.
He still kept in contact with me though via sms too. He always sends/asks this: "Hello. How's life?" To both of us! Kadang2 tu mcm malas nak layan. Still, I reply to the sms. Tak baik kan. Layankan lah saje..
I suppose he is not giving up. He still waits for me. I received a recent sms from him. The one in green fonts are his.
"Hai. Dah abis sch?"
"Belum. InsyaAllah next year, January graduate"
"All the best to you. Semoga berjaya!"
"Thanks"
Silence for 5 mins.
"Bila u nak keluar dgn I? U tak pernah keluar nik moto dgn I. Hehe"
When I read that sms, I choked for awhile. I then called Faridah and told her. To think she can take it as joke! Her msgs in pink font.
"Heehee.. Dia ajak kau date eh..?"
"Haha.. Nak ajak date boleh tapi no motor!"
My reply to R: "Err.. naik motor? Thats the problem.. I takut ah naik motor."
"Alah.. I bawa pelan2."
Faridah's reply to me: "Heehee.. Kau tu ringan sikit. Ok pe..Lain lah kalau aku yg berat ni...confirm tayar motor pancit kalau aku naik..ahakz.." Oh dear! Idah..I am seeking your advice! This is serious matter! No time for jokeS! Sighz..
Silence for another 10 mins.
"U nak keluar dgn I tak this Thurs? Kita jumpa kat bugis at 6pm. Amacam?"
I gasped! Huh? What is this? He sets the day and time without even waiting for a "yes" or "no" from me?! That desperate?! *eyes rolling*
I called Faridah again. I told her that I do not wish to offend him or hurt him but I cant say "no". Faridah advise me NOT to say no but 'InsyaAllah.' I did as what she advised me.
"K. U confirm with me by Wed (AND THATS TOMORROW!). Good nite."
HELP!! How? Must I or must I not? Well, yes I met him before but it has been like almost 2 years since we last met each other so I may feel uneasy when I met him.
I know he does not give up and still waits for me BUT I have to disappoint him. I cant accept him and I cant love him. I've listed my reasons above. He earned half of my salary and due to that, he has to take up another job part time. He is a heavy eater and he seldom eats out. He loves his mummy's cooking! That would mean that whoever get marries to him has to cook for him! Waduh!
Additional reason: I will be known as university graduate after January 2008. Would a university graduate want to have a boyfriend who is only N level? I am not looking down on him or anyone out there who has low qualifications but I do not want other pple to look down on me... Most of my relatives marry someone else who are of equal status. Lawyer marry lawyer. Nurse marry civil servant. Master graduate marry master graduate... ITE graduate marry ITE graduate etc.. etc... Then you expect me, soon-to-be university graduate marry N level holder?! My relatives and their in laws will mock at me!
Frankly speaking.. I do not mind to marry a guy who is of lower qualification than me. I can accept as low as ITE graduate only. Below than that.. I can try to consider.
Time is now 11.31pm. I have less than 24 hours to decide. I think no harm meeting him or just go watch a movie or have dinner but if he were to express some words, I am afraid I have to reject him again... and it might hurt him. I know how it feels like to be hurt. I have experienced it before, not once but TWICE. But if it leads me to no choice. . . . . .
