I missed my blog! It has been only a few days since I last posted an entry in my blog. But as they say: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". This is still my blog, a place where I can be myself and so what if others don't like what they see. This is my own...this is where I can talk about myself more.

I feel, i am very distanced from some people.. its as though.. We are in different worlds,we are interested in different things, and as much as i wan to close up the differences, i juz cant do it, because we juz simply have different thinking.

When some sad thing tat I am experiencing,I tend to do silly things to cheer me up,WITHOUT knowing the consequences..

I used to have many frens.. or rather HAD many frens, who were like very close to me for a period of time.. and afterwhich, we juz drifted apart, for no apparent or obvious reason. Probably the other person's bored with me, or i was unconciously bored the other person.

Our conversations juz became less often, and finally.. we do not tok to each other at all.. and we ended up pretending tat we dunno each other even though we bump into each other in school or outside. Wad was with me at tat time? Was it my own emotional barrier which i cannot overcome..?

I think I had realised tat too..I realised that the more a person means to you, the more you would feel awkward and shy.. I realised this long ago thanks to my non-existent guts... and that sucks big time.

I was like dying to tok and be frenly with someone, someone I know since sec sch but because he means quite alot to me at tat time, i ended up stumbling over my words and not being able to even looked up. I juz simply care too much....

I dun seem that kind of shy girl..but well.. I am. I can tok, luff with my buddies(who neva finds me boring) but i cant tok coherently in front of a guy I have a crush on.. (unless is like.. a classmate or buddy like fadhil, Suresh,Nazrul, Firdaus)

This is especially when tat guy is charming.. haha.. its as though I am trying hard to not fall for his charm whatsoever. I am always trying to be careful all the time.. even when guys like me, i am super cautious.. (thus not having any relationships) this is becuz i dun wan a scenario where after i like this guy, and he knows it, and rejects me terribly, OR, whereafter i agreed to start a relationship, he says something like, "huh?! u really think i wan you ah? HAHAHA!! pls la.. go look at urself..blah blah" ok tats exaggerated.. but there ARE such guys, and i know of some.

Probably all stems down to myself confidence and shyness...anyone selling their guts? I need some good strong ones.. =( Err..probably juz some advice will do..

Anyway, an update abt Singapore Idol.. WAT THE . . . .? Jerry is IN again?! He knocked out Jessea?! I mean, it wasnt his fault.. I know. Its those Singaporeans who voted for him! HELLO?! WATS WRONG WITH U PPLE? JUST BECAUSE JESSEA ISNT A SINGAPOREAN, SHE WAS BORN IN CANADA, so she SHLD BE OUT?! So wat, if she isnt Singaporean? Jasmine Trivias, American Idol 3 Finalist, she isnt an American, she was born in Philippines BUT the Americans ARE BEING FAIR not to vote her OUT of the FIRST round of the finals.. Singaporeans.. plz BE FAIR..

Amyria pours her heart out @ 9:44 pm   |