Saturday, June 12, 2004
No wonder I heard a gal's voice on the other line the other day! And sumhow, I have this feeling that he wanted to tell me about it but he feaed I may be hurt. Its not may be hurt! I am REALLY HURT! Coz by keeping it form me; stabbing me in the dark, it hurts me MORE!
I dun knw if that gal is his ex and they patched things up or what lah but he admitted to it via SMS he has another gal and thats the reason why all the avoidance.
How do I start an SMS conversation with him? Whatever my hear wants to say! First sms: Can u not make it obvious to the other volunteers that we're not talking? I'm not used to it. Plz..
He replied, "So leave it as that can? I'm busy. *He's busy?* He always used that as an excuse. I send another SMS: That's always the reason u gave - I'm busy, I'm tired,' but u can still talk to others not me. Sometimes I wonder is this the way how a guy shld treat a gal?
His reply was, "Wateva." Huh? Only 1 word and its wateva? I still do not give up. I send another sms: Where is the gentleman Z whom I am atracted to??
His next reply brought me to tears. I broke down. Whatever I was holding, I dropped them except for my hp. I dun care the student members around me. I dun care if they noticed me. The reply was, "Another gal has his heart. So I hope u understand."
After reading that SMS, I rushed to whichever room my legs wants to take me and once I'd reached to that particular room, I broke down and continue crying. While I was crying, I called Aiin. I poured all my tears to her.
When I was crying, I wonder. Why do I cry? I have neva cry for a guy before so why is this time I cry? Why?! I need some ans quick!!
If that gal was his ex and they patched things up, I can understand. But if that gal is a new gal, so why her instead of me? Why he broke my heart? Why?!! Why he do this? Why he toyed with my feelings?! Why?!! Why?!!
Ainn advised me to forget him and moved on with my life. Which is what I will try to do starting from today.
